This is the story of what happens when you hit a beach ball around me during the 8th inning of a baseball game in the last 10 games of the season
This is a jackass who would rather play beach ball than watch the game going on behind him.
These are the people who stand up (thus blocking my view of the plate) to hit the beach ball.
They do not stand up to
1) cheer for the home run
2) root root root for the home team
3) let people pass them by
they just stand up for the fucking beach ball
This is the beach ball that landed in my lap despite my yelling “if that damn beach ball touches me I will pop it and I’m not kidding.”
This is the sad little kid who almost cried after I popped the beach ball.
So I got a round of BOOOOOO and then someone said “YOU DON’T LIKE FUN!” and someone else said “YOU SUCK!” and then I said “watch the game, it’s the 9th inning and we’re only up by 2 runs and the Phillies and the Padres won today so you need to pay attention.”
This is Sunglasses At Night and Kangol Hat guy and they were both really upset with me.
Kangol Hat ripped the (popped) beach ball out of my hands and tried to continue hitting it around the stadium. Sunglasses At Night looked at me and said “you are heartless.”
This was the woman who was really upset about the fact that I popped the beach ball and she turned around and said “that is SO UNCOOL.”
The girl behind me said “that woman is CRAZY” and then I turn around and her dad is taking a picture of her pointing at my head making a face. He took it and said “yeah, you can put it on your myspace!”
If anyone find it on myspace you are my hero.
Eventually, there was no more beach ball, and the dad fashioned the kid a new hat out of the remnants. I got to watch the game. Everyone was happy, except Sunglasses At Night who was pouting. And the Dodgers won.
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Hilarious!
Amanda - December 14th, 2006 at 8:12 pm
so not cool. I mean I hate those stupid beach balls too, but really.
Anonymous - February 12th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
oh look, it’s anonymous who impersonates other users. so glad he’s back.
malingering - February 14th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
This story just about sums up your life. You’re a miserable, arrogant, jerk. Did you think you were being cool when you did that? Did you think you were being funny?
Anonymous - February 14th, 2007 at 10:47 pm
Don’t be concerned, Anonymous, you have no balls so she can do no damage to you.
wildlifeuplift - February 23rd, 2007 at 8:03 pm
That post sums up your life: annoying troll. She paid good money for baseball tickets and by damn she’s gonna watch some freakin’ baseball!
Mushroom - February 23rd, 2007 at 8:07 pm
you are my hero for this. now could you also please stab all the people who start the wave?
pads_fan_in_LA - April 24th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
went to dodger games for twenty years before the idiots who were there to be seen, see famous people, or generally do anything but watch the game drove me away. stabbing the wave people may be a bit of an overwhelming task, maybe you could start by merely picking off the idiots who stand while talking on their cell phones and wave when they think they are on camera. you are added to my list of unsung hereos. where were you when i was single?
don't go anymore - April 25th, 2007 at 7:32 pm
I think you should be awarded Dodgers fan of the year. I hate 99cent stores, not because of their fine wares, but because of those damn beach balls.
I go to only a handful of games a year, but that doesn’t stop me from hating the balls. But I watch almost all of the games on TV and you see the Ump always calling time out for no particular reason. And you wonder why? Oh yeah, a freakin’ beach ball is on the field. The only thing good about that, is we get to hear Vin Scully talk more.
Death to the beach balls!
Go Dodgers!
brendo - May 1st, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Dodger Fans!
Cant live with `em and ya cant kill `em and get away with it either
Chris - May 7th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
You are absolutely pathetic. These beach balls bring great pleasure to kids and older fans as well, and they are simply part of the atmosphere at the game, as is the wave. Why don’t we just kill everyone who sings the 7th inning stretch too? Watch the game at home if you really don’t want to be part of the crowd.
Dodger Fan - May 16th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
that’s so cool! LOL! i hate beach balls, too! People are so lame @ Dodger games that I refuse to go, even if I get free tix! Who wants to spend 2 hours in their car to get out of the stadium! The owners don’t give a crap, so why should I? Go Angels, I guess…
Lorie - May 17th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
If beach balls are so great, why aren’t they allowed at Dodger Stadium?
malingering - May 18th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
poor little kid…i have a 60 inch beach ball, i’ll be sure to bring plenty of those to the next game…enjoy
particle.txd - May 23rd, 2007 at 7:32 pm
Excellent job! I particularly enjoyed your educated, sensible response to the people complaining about the popped beach ball. So much better than just yelling “fuck you back!”
When I was a kid, there were occasional beach balls at Dodger Stadium, and they generally waited until long timeouts. Plus, I was a kid, so, short attention span. Now, it seems as if there are three or four *minimum* per game, and they come out during crucial parts of the game.
If people want to toss a stupid beach ball around, they go to a minor league game, where goofy shenanigans are encouraged by stadium management.
clynne - June 12th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
ok i don’t get the whole thing about beach balls. i bring 3 or 4 to every game i go to, and i go to about 20 games a year. its all part of dodger stadium. all the kids like them but theres always someone like you who just thinks that since i dont like the beach balls ill just ruin the fun for everyone else. i think you dont want to deal with it when it comes to you hit it away from you.
matt - June 18th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
I did the samething at tonights Angels vs Atros game. You would have thought I shot someone’s dog. I agree 100% percent with you. I don’t get to go to many games. My mom and nephew where here from out of town and I paid good money to take them to a ball game. I don’t go to games to play with beach balls. I go to watch the game. The WHOLE game. Where on my ticket does it indicate that by entering the standium, I have agreed to have my enjoyment of the game interupted by immature adults who get bored! If the game is so boring, leave.
They are not simply part of the atmosphere of the game. They have nothing to do with the game. If you don’t want to participate in the wave or the 7th inning stretch, you are free to do so. Not participating doesn’t affect anyone else. Beach balls affect those who do not want to participate in this activity, as described by the original poster. This is the reason why smoking isn’t allowed at stadiums anymore, it affects those who don’t want to smoke.
People who bring beach balls to games are being selfish. They couldn’t care less about other people. Since they think its fun, so must everyone else. And if you don’t, then there must be something wrong with you. Certainly not them.
Rabbitwolf - June 21st, 2007 at 1:57 am
[…] This is not a polo match. This is not afternoon tea. This is baseball. Crotch grabbing, dirt eating, tobacco spitting, grass stained baseball. There is no place for high heeled shoes at a baseball stadium. I don’t understand you people. You take too long to get up the stairs and I might miss a play. You crush my toes when you try to squeeze past me to use the restroom. The only use I can see for a high heeled shoe at a baseball game is popping a beach ball. […]
Malingering’s World » that is not baseball attire - July 23rd, 2007 at 8:33 am