Malingering’s World

“I like the bunny on my mama’s shirt. It’s cute and pretty.”

I know next time I’m hanging out with kids, I’ll be sure to wear the playboy bunny emblazoned on my chest. I know people think such images don’t affect kids, and the fact that this bothers me is an indicator that I am some sort of puritan conservative who hates sex and that’s the only reason why I make such statements. But it’s a well studied and understood fact that constant exposure to such images will normalize them, and then we end up with 13 year olds like this:

A whole generation of girls who want to be Playboy Bunnies. I can’t wait.

Adios, feminism.

“Oh my god, dude, 4 o’clock, no seriously man, turn around, I’m not joking.”

Someone is going to call me a pervert for taking this, or say that I am some sort of over-sexed maniac and I am intruding on people’s privacy and this woman never expected her ass to be all over the internet so I should have had her bootie sign a consent or something. So I will admit the truth to all of you. I forced her to wear that. Then I held a gun to her head and made her march up and down the boardwalk for 2 hours while she was oggled, photographed, and cat called. This is all my fault. It’s a false reality that I created.

Though I will take no credit for Mr. Cowboy Hat and Flip-Flops.

This woman (presumably, mother) decided to take baby and stroller on the escalator (despite the elevator a mere 20 feet away) and ended up spilling 2 lattes (on herself, not the child) which she had in the cup holder up at the top near the canopy. Then she went fumbling around trying to catch the coffee, forgetting she had a kid to watch.

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I followed him to see how he could possibly walk like that, but he seemed to be a seasoned veteran. This skinny boy emo sagging jeans thing is far more challenging than the baggy saggy jeans thing. This is more like trying to walk after you got up from the toilet but forgot to pull up your pants. Hey. It happens.

I was pleased to see their article today at least placing some blame on the parents. AND it mentions asswriting. I was also interested in the part that talks about girls being at risk for STDs at age 9. After all, I was vehemently attacked and called a “conservative” for suggesting girls could be pregnant by 11 because they are raised to act and dress like mini adults. Maybe one day I will have credibility too. Until then, the camera does the talking.

Today I got to do something I’ve always dreamed of, confront those jackasses who hog parking spaces, especially when the lot is very crowded, as it was on this day. You always see their cars there, but never the people inside them, so this was a first.

I pulled up to this guy as he was unloading his stroller and said “so, are you going to use BOTH of those spaces?”

To which he replied “this is only one space!”

And I said “that’s funny, it looks like two.”

“No, it’s only one”

“Well there’s a line running right beneath your SUV, maybe you didn’t see it.”

“These spaces are too small for my car!”

*dirty look*

“Um, okay, do you want me to move? I’m trying to get the stroller out.”

“Well, I need a place to park, don’t I?”

Then he got so flustered, he dropped his keys (you can see them on the ground there). He got into his car to re-park, but he couldn’t find the keys. So then he gets out of the thing and he’s checking his pockets and asking his wife where the keys are and flipping out. I’m watching this spectacle until he finds the keys, gets in to re-park, and then I drive away. Then I laughed to myself for 3 days. I’m rather easily amused when it comes to entitled dicks.