Malingering’s World

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This is what I don’t understand. When I was 14, I got white cotton panties in a pack of 6 from Target and that was the end of it. This was not an issue to be questioned. Maybe it’s because I don’t care much about my own appearance but I always thought if you were […]

Can someone please tell swimsuit manufacturers that people are getting larger and they should (literally) follow suit?

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Generally, when I used to see people wearing all of their clothes at once I would think, “hmm, they must be homeless, it must suck that there’s nowhere to store their clothes.” But now I see them and I think, “Goddamn, Forever 21 is making a ridiculous fortune off of convincing people that they have […]

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at least we know we’ve got a handle on evolution. now that we’re taking out old body parts and putting in new ones, our genetic code is practically meaningless. take that darwin. no more “survival of the fittest” crap. we will overcome nature and its petty forces.

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Um. Does she seriously have a still shot of the phantom of the opera covering her entire back?

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So every time this person walked up the stairs, you would hear a round of applause break out in the row where she came from, and it would grow in force as she made her way up the stairs until the whole section was united in an ovation to the titties. We began the TITTIE! […]

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I don’t like to pick on my fellow Dodger fans, but the day that Ugg boots belong in Dodger Stadium is the day that the Dodgers don’t fall apart in September.

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