People who drive SUVs are so special, they get to park on the grass.

SUVs are made to go off-road. So for fuck’s sake people, take them off-road! Let them learn what they were built for, let them reach their true vehicular potential! Don’t make them drive on pavement all day. It’s just not fair.

XXX

March 29th, 2007

Trying to think of meanings of XXX. It’s either porn or poison, right?

XXX

It’s been a while since I’ve thought of Corey Hart. Thanks for bringing me back.

most stupidest people intersection

“ill b right thre im just stucl n trafc rt now.its hard 2 txt msg n drive u no.”

baby Milo becomes ubiquitous

March 28th, 2007

baby Milo

Who knew my cat Milo would start such a name trend? I mean, know he’s a really cute cat, but this has gone too far! Bape has a line of Baby Milo clothing, which I suppose I would want, if it weren’t $150 per sweatshirt and it somehow resembled the OG Milo, who is much cuter than that astronaut thing shown above.

For you grouchies who e-mail me all the time calling me a bitch and a c*nt and an insecure whore and a sexless cat lady and a pedophile, I give you this. I challenge you can look at this woman and tell me that I have no right to laugh at her or photograph her Maltese which has apparently been colored over with a Stalibo highlighter after a tragic cotton candy machine accident. I use this to represent “fucked up.” Go ahead and e-mail me your “she’s just expressing herself” bullshit so I can laugh at you too. The Candy Man was just a song. It’s not real.
at least she doesn't have the Uggs this time

You can see her on the Dog Whisperer as well. Why they allowed this crap is beyond me, you would think it just encourages people to do idiotic things without an ounce of thought. (It is worth watching to see that she has pink walls, pink rugs, a pink bed, and a larger than life pink portrait of the pink dog. Oh also she calls the dog Little Miss Kisses and she calls herself Kitty.)

she was on the Dog Whisperer

If it’s so nice and safe to color one’s fur pink, then lady, do your own. I’m talking eyebrows, pit hair, the whole nine yards. Your dog shouldn’t have to be the one to take it for the team.

pink ass panther

March 26th, 2007

the asswriting buddy system

I am so thrilled that summer is coming! Now we can focus on pink where it belongs, not on the ass in inappropriate colors but on the cootch, which is where PINK really belongs.

Initially I was just checking out the dude's little pigtail mohawk deal shoved into his 2 day old free Dodger cap from cap day on Sunday

Then I followed the ensemble down to find man-uggs with shorts. Part of me admires him for blurring the gender lines and allowing the Uggs to enhance his knee caps; this is certainly a move toward equality and fashion unity. But then I started to wonder what thought process went into this. Did he put on his Dodger cap and Dodger sweatshirt and denim shorts and then open up the closet and look around and think, “Nikes… wore those yesterday. Basketball shoes… don’t want to dirty them. Flip-flops… toes might get cold. Oh, I know! The Uggs!”

And I would wish that she could have some lighter sunglasses that would allow more air to pass through her nasal passages, because I think that would make her happy. I’m so philanthropic.

Since it seems this week we are focusing on male waistlines, today I give you this...

You see, if people had lots of things to do and felt stressed and pressured all the time, they wouldn’t have time for daily pube gardening and landscape manicure. But since we are mellow and relaxed here, we can take the time to trim the hedges on a daily basis, giving us this aesthetic masterpiece.

malingering is a stalker

March 20th, 2007

Damn kids are fashionable these days. No wonder I wear mom jeans and turtlenecks.

The truth comes out. (A comment left by a Flickr user on the blog of an entirely different Flickr user).
Comment:
WARNING MALINGERING IS A STALKER
Do not see her on flickr do not speak to her before you do look at her profile this will tell you all about this person…..!!
She has been stalking people she does not like and will make lies and ruin your photo stream along with your friends..!
How can a person live like that i will never know..!!!
I wouldnt allow here near me or my children.

Wonder who that’s from?

(See previous post).