Barry is here for three days as he tries to make his ‘roid record here in LA against the Dodgers. Of course I will be at the games… but what to do?
BoycottBarry.com is selling “Bondsfolds” to use to cover your eyes when he’s at bat. Get to the game early and you can buy one, along with a styrofoam asterisk.
The LA Daily News seems to be supporting his cause and promoting the protest as well. I hope all you Dodger fans out there can hold your boos in for a few days.
I like Plaschke’s idea of remaining completely silent as the highlights of his home run will be played over and over, and all that will be heard is nothingness.
I’ll see you all there.
I spent part of today reading this message board about how mean I am and how I hate fat people and I am insecure and cruel and had bad parents and need therapy. It’s becoming so common that it’s not even very amusing anymore.
I’m just going to remind everyone that:
I DON’T ACTUALLY GET UPSET ABOUT PEOPLE’S CLOTHES. It doesn’t even bother me for 2 seconds. I just find it amusing. I’m not saying we should all dress according to trends or what appears in the media, I’m not saying we SHOULD do anything. I’m just exposing it and expressing my opinion. It cracks me up to no end that people think because I have an opinion I believe the whole world should conform to what I want. Actually, it just means I have an opinion.
I DO NOT SPEND MY LIFE DOING THIS. In fact I don’t even seek it out. It is simply THERE and I’m documenting it.
I DO NOT WANT YOU TO DRESS ACCORDING TO MY IMAGINED STANDARDS. This is boring and I would have nothing to take photos of. So what if you show up in an outfit I think is ugly. Does this have any effect on you whatsoever? Also I don’t have any standards, since I just wear jeans and a t-shirt and sneakers all day and buy clothes only because they’re soft and they fit and not because they look good. Usually I am NOT the person creating the tags here, so enough with that.
People on a FASHION blog are attacking me for criticizing bad fashion choices and saying stuff like “I would NEVER judge a person for what they are wearing.” Think about it.
I ACTUALLY DO FEEL SAD when I see overweight kids with overweight parents stuffing their faces with candy and soda. I know and understand the long-term complications and it depresses me a great deal because these people don’t seem to understand the damage they’re doing. I also use humor (a mature defense mechanism according to Freud) to present this.
SURE, COME ON OVER to my apartment and take photos of me in unflattering poses with my 7 chins and do what you want with them. This doesn’t change who I am in any way, shape or form, no matter what people say about the photos. Because they are looking at an image, not a person.
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Barry Bonds is at 754 in his steroid laced attempt to break Hank Aaron’s home run record. This means 1 HR to tie, 2 HR to break. And he’ll be at Dodger Stadium on Tuesday-Thursday.
I am ambivalent in oh so many ways. First off, do I care if he used steroids? At the time they were illegal but not banned, and obviously he’s not alone in their use. Picking on him is like those jackasses who pick on me for apparently creating hate toward fat people, we’re all looking for a scapegoat. Then again, I hate cheaters about as much as I hate a woman in Uggs with asswriting and a Bluetooth in her ear. Secondly, should I care so much that he’s a sniveling whiny helpless arrogant prick? He’s doing his job, but he’s not likeable. Sometimes when I’m at work I think, “it doesn’t matter if people hate me, as long as I’m doing good work.” Should the same apply to Barry? He’s more of a role model than I am, but it is just a job. And lastly, what do I want to happen this week? Besides hoping that both of his legs fall off after contracting a rare and uncurable form of leprosy, do I want him to break it at Dodger Stadium? Obviously we don’t want it to go down in the record books as HR # 756 being hit against the Dodgers. But Dodger Stadium is the one place that will resist any semblance of celebration. Say he does hit it there. He will be booed incessantly. People will throw shit at him. Signs and banners and Cheater jerseys will fill the stadium in untimate disrespect. If breaking the record is inevitable, isn’t this the best way for it to happen? I’m not sure. But I will be there Wednesday and Thursday to see him play against our weakest pitchers, so if it’s going to happen you can be sure as hell I won’t miss it.  Â
A few months ago I tried to educate Los Angeles about the stupidity of this trend. I provided photographic evidence that this is flattering to no one. I have spent hours documenting the sequelae of bad footwear choices.
I have fought the hard fight. I’ve given it all I have. This just won’t end. Have I truly been beaten by a dead sheep?
Forgetting to put on pants in the morning, or falling asleep in a pile of shrinky dinks?
I think a really great tattoo would be a depiction of that time I was held hostage in my underwear by armed and enraged maniacs and I was almost killed but survived thanks to my cell phone and a few tricks I learned on 24…
Oh, someone already has that one.
Public health notice:
There appears to be a virulent pathogen circling the greater Los Angeles area that results in strange oozing and growths at the site of the navel. Initially it appears benign and may take the mimic the shape of a flower or diamond, but this is simply one of its many clever adaptations to fool the unsuspecting host.
Currently there is no known cure. Scientists are working hard to battle this problem but the prognosis is grim. Despite close observation, they continue to multiply at an exponential rate.
As the disease progresses it appears to become more aggressive. There have been worries that these are actually alien parasites feeding off human hosts, working to implant themselves into the abdomen. If this is truly the case, this could be a sign of the apocalypse.
I’m a bit naive when it comes to this so-called blogosphere, and also rather nacrissistic as I only read about 3 blogs other than my own. So I tried to spread myself out and read a few LA blogs like Militant Angeleno and the Metro Rider guy (who wrote this post today on LAist and sometimes leaves snide comments on my posts) who live an breathe their faith in the public transportation system in LA (which they do not consider to be a problem, I guess) and go so far as to say give up your car. I am perplexed.
Read the LAist post above about becoming a full-time Metro rider. This is really great. If you…
1) are male and don’t get leered at or harassed when you walk around in public
2) don’t carry much stuff to work (especially no expensive stuff)
3) don’t have to travel with a child/children and a diaper bag or groceries
4) don’t live on the westside
5) work reasonable hours and do not leave work when the buses are coming only once every 51 minutes
6) don’t involve the 405 in your commute in any way shape or form
This is a map of the rail system. Please note that it ignores the entire west side of Los Angeles. Oh, who needs those superficial assholes, right? Let them stay on the westside, we know they are only there because they are materialistic jackasses and not because they could possibly have any other reason to live west of La Brea.
Now say you want to travel along the 405 from the Valley to Santa Monica, which hundreds (if not thousands) of people do everyday. You have to take 3 buses and it will take over 2 hours. There is no carpool lane, so the buses don’t even get an advantage on the freeway, you’re just stuck on the bus, not moving on the 405 with all of the other commuters.
Or say you want to travel from West LA to San Pedro, normally a 35-40 minute drive. According to Metro.net it will take 2 1/2 hours if you take public transportation. Who has 4 extra hours/day to spare? Yay for you.
When I work in an office that I can access by public transportation, I take the bus because I hate paying for parking. This is what happened last week. It’s 8am. I waited at my little bus stop and watched the yuppies buy their Starbucks. Bus came. Bus was full. Bus did not let me on. Waited another 10 minutes. Bus came. Bus was full. Bus let someone off, but did not let me on. Waited 12 more minutes. Finally a bus willing to accept me. This bus refuses to turn on the air conditioning. Now I’m late for work. And sweating like a whore. And pissed.
What’s my point?
This is not to say it can’t be done. Obviously it can. I suppose it is to say that certain bloggers who try to make it sound easy and then become rather rude when challenged need to consider the limitations of an imperfect system and I start to get very annoyed at the defensiveness with which they present things.
I suppose if you are an unemployed male with no children who lives east of La Brea and have a few hours you can spare each day, by all means go to www.Metro.net and sign up. But for the rest of us, this system still pretty much sucks.
There are a few phrases that I find myself uttering repeatedly at baseball games: Let’s go Dodgers! or Hi Russell Martin! or I can’t eat anymore! or Just shut up and watch the game! but now the above phrase, “that is not baseball attire” is becoming rather prominent in my repertoire of utterances. Why do people dress like this?
Do they think they are going to attract players in their flowy skirts and dresses? I’m sure someone’s going to show up here and say people can wear what they want wah wah wah why do you care wah wah wah wah and you can go ahead and say that but I can guarantee you it will not increase my tolerance for such idiocy and I still have every right to dislike whatever I want so feel free to comment but don’t expect any change here.
This is not a polo match. This is not afternoon tea. This is baseball. Crotch grabbing, dirt eating, tobacco spitting, grass stained baseball. There is no place for high heeled shoes at a baseball stadium. I don’t understand you people. You take too long to get up the stairs and I might miss a play. You crush my toes when you try to squeeze past me to use the restroom. The only use I can see for a high heeled shoe at a baseball game is popping a beach ball.
One of my new favorite subjects to photograph are the women who show up in these 3 inch heels and try to make it down the stairs of the reserve level balancing two beers and a cell phone. Inevitably something is lost, usually a few ounces of beer, sometimes the phone call, or when you’re super lucky, her balance. One can add some peanut shells and melted chocolate malt to the mix to make things more interesting. This is one of the few benefits to sitting in an aisle seat, as one is usually punished by having to stand up every half inning while some sweaty balls guy’s beer belly tries to get out of his seat to buy another Dodger dog. Silver lining, that’s all I’m saying.
