August 29th marks the day I was introduced to a phenomenon I have been kept in the dark about for some time: RENTAL MAN. I am ashamed to say I have lived on the westside for so many years without ever coming to know RENTAL MAN the way I experienced today, but I feel certain that my life will never be the same.
Today was one of my favorite days of summer: ditch work and go to the game with Dad day. I’m not sure whether it was the biased selection process or simply random independent events, but we ended up sitting near some pretty cool Dodger fans: The kind that know their stuff, don’t act like fucktards, join in my cheers, and have a quick wit. We were also sitting a few rows up from the great legend himself, RENTAL MAN.
I first noticed this being after Matt Kemp homered in the 7th. I was so distracted by the upright grand mal seizure in red striped spandex with asscrack sweat, I missed Matt Kemp’s little “thanks God for the homer!” salute to the heavens as he crossed home plate. I briefly chastised myself for my inability to attend to what is truly important (the baseball) until I learned that this was not just any looney white guy on meth but actually a soon-to-be legend.
It didn’t matter if there was music, if the game was going on, or if anyone was watching because this guy would start having epileptic fits for no apparent reason. They lasted for 30-40 seconds and while there was no loss of bowel or bladder continence, it seemed there was a loss of control of his tongue movements.
The rather cool fans next to me tried to predict what Rental Man’s demise would be in the end. Dehydration from extreme 94 degree heat? A trip to the county jail’s psychiatric evaluation unit? Running off with a scantily clad tube-top tittie woman? What would become of him?
Rental Man started in our aisle, but slowly made his way around Dodger Stadium until he had blessed all corners of Chavez Ravine with his presence. From the first base side foul pole to the last row behind third base, he spread his enthusiasm as effectively as possible. The game went into extra innings and he continued on, dancing frenetically into the 10th and 11th innings.
Unfortunately, Dodger Stadium security was not nearly as amused. We weren’t sure exactly what Rental Man did to upset them, but he was forcibly pushed out after penetrating the sacred area behind home plate. Security swarmed around him and shoved him up the stairs.
Most interesting was the crowd’s reaction to this act. The entire field and loge sections, perhaps delirious from 4 hours in the heat or maybe just looking for something to believe in, started chanting “RENTAL MAN! RENTAL MAN!” throughout the bottom of the 12th inning. It didn’t matter who was batting or what was going on, the stadium shook with “RENTAL MAN! RENTAL MAN!” I watched the replay of the game on TV when I got home and sure enough, you could hear us on Fox Sports. Even dad was cheering.
Whatever magic Rental Man laid upon Dodger Stadium will forever remain sacred, as the Dodgers pulled together in the spirit of Rental Man, and won the game in the bottom of the 12th as Kent slid headfirst into home plate on Hillenbrand’s sac fly. Thank you Rental Man.
Thank you.
August 29th, 2007 - 9:29 pm
myspace.com/rentalmaninfo
ha. too funny. what a weird guy.
August 30th, 2007 - 9:49 am
So inspiring. Rental Man is awesome.
August 30th, 2007 - 12:34 pm
Hey there!! It’s me the guy that was sitting in front of you to witness the hilarious spectacle who called himself RENTAL MAN!!!That was one of the best games I’ve been to in a while. The game is always better when you find yourself sittin’ next to true fans
)
Your photos are amazing!! This is one of my new favorite websites! It’s rare to find a girl that is as passionate about the “Boys in Blue” as I am. Glad to have met you and your pops. I know you’re gonna be in San Die-go this weekend so drop me an email and maybe we can hang and watch the Dodgers take back control of the NL West together. Cracker Jack’s are on me!! LOL
Hope to hear from you soon…
THINK BLUE!!
angel112ucsb@yahoo.com
August 30th, 2007 - 4:55 pm
RENTAL MAN goes to my gym, the 24 Fitness on Ocean Park. I saw him in his red/black striped shorts practicing his moves in the free weight room (which I call the meat market).
August 30th, 2007 - 5:12 pm
That guy gets around…he was in the Palisades 4th of July Parade, gyrating and dancing (if you could call it that) and lip synching to his Ipod with a long black cape on and red, white and blue shorts. I was embarrassed for him…although he is oblivious to just how crazy he looks. Great blog!
August 30th, 2007 - 7:18 pm
What. The. Fuck.
That guy’s a madman! He shakes his head around so fast it makes MY head hurt.
Kudos for saying fucktard. I love that word! It’s so satisfying.
August 31st, 2007 - 3:16 am
He’s Mental. He’s Mental Man! I thought the vid had been sped up, but he really moves like that in real-time.
Do you think he was forced to take ritalin as a kid?
August 31st, 2007 - 10:35 pm
Wait, he PRACTICES THIS? In PUBLIC???
September 8th, 2007 - 9:49 am
http://www.archive.org/details/Rental_Man_Interview
September 12th, 2007 - 7:16 am
Does he do children’s party’s or presidential fundrasiers?
September 13th, 2007 - 8:20 pm
Well, the important thing is that he’s alive and it shows.
October 4th, 2007 - 5:54 pm
I saw the guy in the Dugout Club, on the day they gave out the fleece blanket last week.
He sat at a table next to Steve Garvey and yelled out to me as I walked past, “Hey aint that guy Steve Sax?”
Later that night he passed by me on the way to the bathroom and was muttering to himself that security was following him around.
November 17th, 2007 - 12:08 pm
I saw RENTAL MAN many, many times. Westsiderental on Wilshire Blvd. and 11th in Santa Monica moved a few doors down and they rented him. He danced to music, smiled and was just wonderful at attracting attention. He held a sign that told people that Westsiderental had moved. Perfect!
March 26th, 2008 - 11:42 am
This guy constantly visits the RiteAid in Valley Village right near where I live. He was in there one day screaming about buying cans of pineapple and just creating a disturbance in general. RiteAid Employees were NOT amused. Then, on New Year’s Eve he was in the parking lot trying to pick up New Year’s dates. It was pretty sketchy…he followed one girl to her car and tried to knock on her windshield as she drove away. Wow. His truck is always parked out back, too, and I just thought he was a crazy homeless guy who lived in his truck…that’d be pretty accurate for Valley Village. I can’t believe he’s legit and that Westside Rentals actually hires him. He needs a lobotomy desperately. Will wonders never cease…
July 27th, 2008 - 10:00 pm
We ran into Rental Man one night at 3 am on Mill Ave in Tempe. He was out there for the UCLA sweet 16 game. So we challenged him to a dance off…but not sure what he’s doing here. THis guy is nuts.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NUPbB82oKl0
November 3rd, 2008 - 6:30 pm
I met this guy yesterday on the 1 train in NYC. He was coming back from the marathon he jumped in to and finished. He said he also did the halloween parade and some other sporting event… He’s a pretty cool guy. He’s real friendly, I had he could dance like that!
April 13th, 2009 - 9:36 am
the rental man is a freaking retard with no life!!
April 13th, 2009 - 8:35 pm
[...] Rental Man gets called for delay of game. Joe Torre is not pleased. [...]
June 2nd, 2009 - 9:50 pm
Places I’ve seen Rental Man:
2009 Rosebowl
SDSU vs. St. Mary’s – NIT Game SDSU
Rock n Roll Marathon – San Diego (he ran…finished in like 5:35…look him up…name??? Rental Man)
Funny cat…not all there however…
September 5th, 2009 - 2:24 pm
Met Rental Man on a bus in San Francisco last Sunday night. He had been dancing at the Giants game.
June 17th, 2010 - 9:43 pm
He’s Mental Man! I thought the vid had been sped up, but he really moves like that in real-time.
Do you think he was forced to take ritalin as a kid?
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Rental Cars America
August 20th, 2010 - 10:59 am
Do you mind if I quote you post Malingering’s World − meet rental man on my blog if I link back to this page?