Malingering’s World

As you may or may not know, I’ve been trying out the Zone diet for the past month. I lost a few pounds, but I felt pretty sure that this was from quantity restriction and not the Zone itself. So I started doing a little research.

First off, I had to try to understand insulin:glucagon ratios since Barry Sears uses this as one of the reasons why his diet works. I liked this article in particular because it has nice diagrams. The basics: too much insulin = weight gain and higher blood sugar levels. Higher glucagon = weight loss, protein synthesis and lowered blood sugar levels. Then I read this article which reviews Sears’s theories against scientific papers. And then I read a few articles from JAMA to sum it up.

Anyway, after a lot of reading, this is what I’ve discovered:
-The Zone works for people mostly because of calorie restriction, not from all of the insulin:glucagon eicosanoid stuff that it purports is the cause of weight loss
-Higher ratios of protein in one’s diet helps one feel full longer, so you eat less. Zone makes sure you eat lots of protein, so you don’t get as hungry. Of course, they say this is under the pretense of increasing your glucagon levels which studies show is a load of bunk
-Fats are difficult for the stomach to digest, so increasing “good fats” also allows you to feel full longer. Omega-3s are highly recommended by everyone to help improve your plasma lipid profiles, and the Zone makes sure you include them
-The Zone’s theory on insulin secretion is only true for 30 minutes after eating - after that it all evens out and insulin secretion is actually higher (about 12%)in a Zone person than someone eating a normal protein or high carb diet
-All diets, when compared head to head, produce weight loss if followed correctly and all benefits from that diet (plasma HDL/LDL/TG levels, insulin/blood sugar levels, etc.) result from the loss of weight and not the diet specifically

This has all been rather depressing to me, not because I thought the Zone would change my life and I would become a better person and live forever, but because someone can publish a bunch of unevidenced theoretical bunk and become a NY Times bestseller. Despite all of the advances in medical research and technology, we are still gullible little pawns, clinging to anything we can believe in as long as we don’t question it. I am considering writing a book about how Crocs contain a potentially carcinogenic compound and how walking in them and allowing your foot pores to sweat and open up will release the chemicals into your skin, which will then be absorbed into the body and cause cancer. I got this idea from the Sheryl Crow water bottle scam which to this day keeps showing up on memos and e-mails. I will also add in that not wearing Crocs makes you prettier, skinnier and increases your sex drive (again, related to the toxins). Bestseller. You heard it here first.

The unfortunate consequence of questioning everything you hear is that you become the party pooper/Debbie Downer/resident cynic and no one wants to hang out with you because they don’t you to burst their delusional bubble. I don’t know how it came to be that blissful ignorance is an asset, but I do know that I have received evaluations from four different supervisors which said things along the lines of “you are too honest,” “you need to learn to kiss up” and “not everyone appreciates your irreverence.” Fine.

Either way, my inability to hide the truth has led me to tell you that I am rather upset with Barry Sears right now, and I don’t want to talk to him or the Zone right now. Hrmph.

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