Malingering’s World

I had almost moved away from the topic of preadolescent whoring until I came across this. A padded bra at Limited Too. I’m pretty sure Limited Too targets girls ages 6-12 since the sizes only go up to a 14 and that’s a prepubescent size for sure. So why are we selling them padded bras?

I can’t remember which thread it was, but someone wrote that we should support breast implants and other enhancements so “small chested people can feel like an actual woman.” I am not ashamed to say I have no breasts. And I developed really late, because I was a gymnast. I hit puberty sometime around age 14 and it lasted about 5 minutes so the whole growth spurt thing and breast development thing didn’t really happen. Now as I exercise more and get into better shape, I have even less tittie fat. Who fucking cares? I still have vagina, and I still consider myself to be a woman. So when I see padded bras being targeted to “tweens,” I get a just little tiny bit irate.

In selling padded bras to 9 year olds, the following messages are being sent:

1) It is important for you to have shapely breasts, even in 5th grade. While it may not help you out with P.E. or elementary school band, all of those boys that have cooties will look at you differently and you will be more popular. Hopefully this will mean you can get people to do shit for you, so that you can be less independent.

2) It is important for you to enhance your breasts, because what you have is not sufficient. Hey, so what if you’re at Tanner stage 2 and still have years of hormonal changing hell in front of you? Speed it up! Grow up quicker! Look like a teenager as fast as you can. And stop playing in the dirt, goddamnit. It’s time for your manicure.

3) Breasts are important. No, they’re actually not. They’re important to the people that 9 year olds should be staying really, really far away from, and perverts named “fill_you_up” and “9_inches_of_rock_hard” who go onto my Flickr stream and favorite all of the photos I have of breast implants and massive cleavage. These are the perverts who don’t realize that I take photos of implants to show that they look ridiculous, obnoxious, stupid (and sometimes ugly) and to expose the moronic rationale of the people who like them. They play right into the bait. Even better. That’s funny to me.

I have to thank my mother for for calling a slut a slut and telling me one day when I was 15 that I was dressed like a prostitute because my belly button was showing. Okay, so I didn’t speak to her for a week and having been a gymnast for 8 years I had been encouraged to flip around in public in little tiny leotards so I didn’t get it (at all), but in the end I think it worked out okay.

I cannot wait for American Girl padded bras. Then my life will be complete.

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