Malingering’s World

I like word games and Scrabble and Super Password, but for some reason I don’t really like word boots.

Add them to word tights and my head starts to spin.

Plus, I don’t really get it. Do you love your left foot and hate your right? What did your right foot ever do to you? How righty deserve this sort of bias and prejudice and lefty gets carted around like a fucking princess all day? It’s not like you can rotate boots halfway through the day to make the other one feel better, so this odd and unfair bigotry is perpetuated for days on end. Pretty soon right foot might go on strike and then you end up walking in clockwise circles all day. Is that what you want?

Is it better to have words on your ass or your dead sheep boots? A question for the ages.

I might actually go with “ass” because at least nothing died for your moronic fashion whimsy.

Exactly how naughty was that left foot? Did it jam itself up someone’s ass? Does it often end up in your mouth? Did it bust into the Forbidden Dance at your cousin’s wedding last weekend?

And what makes the right foot nice? Is that the one she uses to pet her kitty cat? Does it work at a soup kitchen on major holidays? Opens doors for old people? Wtf?

I’m going to start making bras that have one angel boob and one devil boob. I think that would sell.

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