Malingering’s World

If I am experiencing this much discomfort just looking at her, imagine what it feels like to be in those shorts.

This is not okay, people. Think of the children. Think of the innocent people. Think of how your legs need blood circulation.

The Vortex
2400 m run:
every minute on the minute either 10 push-ups (from the toes) or 15 jumping lunges
clock does not stop, so spend too long doing those and lose your running time, it’s a terrible terrible trick

19:45

I have a problem. I can’t stop buying Nike workout gear. It’s the only brand I love, because it comes in XS and it doesn’t get soggy when you workout. So I’ve become obsessed with buying more and more Nike. I’ve been to the Nike outlet stores in Camarillo, Cabazon, Gilroy, Ontario Mills, and Lake Elsinore. I’ve purchased Nike workout tops on ebay and workout pants from various online retailers. I threw a fit when the Nike Women store at the Grove became Nike Everyone. I went to Roadrunner Sports and signed up for a VIP discount so I could buy more Nike tops. My friend bought me 3 Nike workout tops for Christmas (best friend EVER) and I was so excited that I went shopping that night to buy the matching pants.

I admit it. I have a very serious problem.

I also now have enough gear to workout 5 days a week for a month and I don’t need to do my laundry.

There are some outfits that will never flatter anything but a Bratz doll or a toothpick, and this is one of them. It is okay to admit that we need to be contained lest our skin and other organs come spilling out into the universe in a free-for-all of gravitational mishaps. It’s okay, lady. Really. No one is going to find you less sexy because you decided to wear actual clothes. I promise.

AMRAP 20 min
5 straight leg raises (toes-to-bar)
10 good mornings 30# dumbbell
10 wall squats
15 ab-mat situps

7 rounds

Still really trying to take it easy with the working out. Good mornings hurt my back. Sit-ups made me queasy. I don’t have much energy because of all of the shitty shit that’s been going on lately and really have trouble pushing myself these days. We’re having the finals of our Angie competition in two weeks and I am totally out of shape. In the last 6 weeks I’ve been sick twice, had food poisoning, missed my first 10K race, and a whole slew of other personal shit. I’ll be lucky if I even tie my old time (19:37), much less improve it. I need a pull-up bar in my living room. Very discouraged right now.

And he likes to listen to music. He also stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni.

3 rounds -all with 12# medicine ball
24 squats
24 walking lunges
24 v-sit twists

I did a modified version of today’s workout to try to ease myself back in after the food poisoning. Hadn’t eaten solid food in almost three days so I knew I wasn’t going to be very strong, so I just took it easy and tried not to vomit. It went okay.

I’m not exactly sure what I’m selling, but it must be pretty good. $3800, not bad. Not bad at all. I wonder if it’s horses or prostitutes or something.

I would like to buy these from you. I am familiar with them and like them. My feedback is outstanding and I know who to ship them through. A great trucking company that will do it for a reasonable cost safely strapped to its own pallet. Pilot Air is the name of the company.
I have used them several times. They will be shipped to their Minneapolis warehouse where I will pick them up.
I will call you to make sure we are both comfortable with the purchase and to work out shipping.
I offer $3800 and will pay all shipping costs. Please let me know if this is acceptable.

Thanks,
Mark

I’m having a really hard time containing myself here. Someone better hose me the fuck down and put some ice in my pants. Daaaaaaaaaaaamn.

I’m getting ready for the UCLA game and I pick up my camera bag and hear jingles. No really, nothing should be jingling in there. So I take off my lens cap to find this.

First I was relieved, it’s just the filter. So I go to the camera store and shell out $70 for a new filter only to find that the filter glass has seeped into the lens and now I have to take it to Nikon to have the entire thing dismantled and it’s going to cost a few hundred bucks and baseball is about to start and it better be back by then other wise I will seriously lose it.

This comes only two days after I spent puking my guts out from that goddamn vegan food poison and six days after my two year relationship ended suddenly and unexpectedly.

So now I’m down a boyfriend, a lens, and a whole lot of stomach acid. Haven’t been able to get to the gym because I don’t have the strength to do much of anything, so mostly I’ve been sitting around being an utter and complete bitch to everyone who crosses my path. I was on the warpath last night at work. There were bodies strewn around behind me as I bitched at people, and it isn’t slowing down.

I am hoping this will spark my creative side as I have been extremely uninspired lately. Otherwise it’s just going to lead to a lot of self-pity shopping. I should set up a PayPal account.