Malingering’s World

You know, if they hadn’t thrown the still in there, it wouldn’t be nearly as insulting, but at this point they may as well say “what the fuck is wrong with you, you pathetic lonely moron, you can’t find someone and you’re no longer in your prime, we’ll help your sorry ass out for a ton of money which we highly recommend you do because otherwise you’ll be alone for the rest of your pathetic life you stupid old mother fucker.”

Jesus, THIRTY IS NOT THAT OLD. I don’t wear dentures, I can walk without implements, and my eggs are still good. I don’t have a beard yet and there’s no sign of liver spots. I have very few wrinkles and my ass doesn’t sag yet. So back the fuck up, Facebook Ad robot. I don’t need your shit right now. Who are you, my mother?

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