file under TMI or “boring”
Well, I just got back from Belize, if you were wondering why there was a huge gap in posts. I went alone, and the main point of my adventure was to 1) take photos and 2) do a ton of thinking. And get a sunburn and bug bites along the way.
I’m trying to figure out which direction I want to take my life, and as it would naturally follow, which direction to take this blog. I don’t want either to get tired, old, or repetitive. I don’t want to keep whining about the same old shit. I want both to be amusing to myself and everyone we encounter. I want both to try to be fresh, interesting, smart, and creative. And I don’t want either to cause too many problems.
It’s also interesting to consider how much information is too much information. Blogs have blurred the lines between one’s inner dialogue and public record, creating confusion about privacy boundaries and how to maintain them. For example, I have a ton of crap going on in my life right now. I’m changing jobs, I have a lot of not-so-good family stuff going on, I have some friendships which are coming apart, and I’m battling with personal struggles. But how much of that do I want revealed to the rest of the world, I’m not sure.
Perhaps I’m having some sort of existential crisis. Things are changing and I’m not sure where to guide them. At this exact moment I am basically single, jobless, and without direction. I’m also drowning in student loans, living in a crowded apartment, and not thrilled with my surroundings. I’m filling out job applications, worrying about the people I love, and feeling a tad lonely.
It’s the journey, I suppose. Maybe I should change this blog to some inspirational quote of the day bullshit to try to stay positive. I bet that would make things a lot easier. Right.
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Hang in there Malingering! Your site brings a LOT of joy to hundreds of people you don’t even know. I live in LA, and you really capture it so well. I LOVE your two cats, especially Milo. I had two cats like that, both passed on now. You’re gonna get a great new job, a great new boyfriend (if that’s even your goal… never build your life around another person), and things will work out even if it doesn’t look that way now. Keep the site going! It was HARD for me those couple weeks you were gone! Chin up. You are literally a STRONG woman, and you are needed in the forefront of the War on Cleavage and Muffin Tops!
Marty - July 1st, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Perhaps you should just move to Northern California. A change of scenery might do you good.
Hi.
George - July 1st, 2008 at 7:38 pm
I wish I could say that things will always be happy and shiny all the time, but they’re not. But that’s what friends are for to help you through those rough patches. Use them as much as you want for support - we’re always here to help with an ear or a shoulder or whatever.
I’ve been through some pretty rough patches too (haven’t we all?) but my friends and a sense of humor are what helps you get through it. I find that finding big pleasure in little things helps sometimes with the bad days, whether it’s ten minutes with a hot cup of tea or getting something done that I’ve been trying to do for weeks.
You’re right, it is a journey. Sometimes the car breaks down. Sometimes it speeds along. All of our mileage varies. But some good music on the radio and an occasional stop to check out the scenery and enjoy it.
Hang in there, hon. Things will get better. Really. And we love ya.
wskrz - July 1st, 2008 at 9:03 pm
*echoes what wskrz said*
It’s a tough journey, there’s no GPS to let you know whether your route is going to be detoured or not. But at least you have OnStar (meaning us).
If you need to talk, you should always feel free to give me a shout.
Welcome home. We missed you, but I am glad to see you had a good time in Belize.
Bill S. - July 2nd, 2008 at 8:42 am
You’ll miss L.A more than it will miss you, but it won’t be as nice and funny a place with you gone.
On the other hand, I absolutely loved Belize and if was smart as you, single and as young, would consider shit canning everything and moving there to run a bar in a New York minute. When I was in Belize, I met a guy (bar owner) who had come for vacation and never left again except to go back to NYC to sign the divorce papers. He hadn’t worn shoes for fifteen years.
You could still take pictures of the asshats you’ll see down there and post them, the difference is that you be doing it AND living in Belize.
/sk
sk - July 2nd, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Malingering, all you need is this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo
Marcel - July 2nd, 2008 at 4:47 pm
it seems as if you’ve exhausted all there is in California. Perhaps it is time to move? If you can’t find your life’s direction in California then it isn’t there! Your direction is somewhere else, it could be the next state over or all the way across the country! Your choice.
not anonymous - July 3rd, 2008 at 4:46 am
Hang in there. I live in L.A. It sucks, and it’s getting worse. The poor parts of town are full of wackos, and the people in the better parts of town are just plain rude.
The average person in L.A. is incredibly inept and ignorant, and moreover, ignorant of their ineptness. They don’t get that it’s them and not you…. don’t let people in L.A. get you down. I’ve kinda gotten used to it, but I still try to avoid making eye contact or ever meeting anyone new. It’s damn scary.
I’ve got an L.A. story. The other day, I was gardening in the front yard. This homeless guy starts smashing something in the middle of the street. I thought it was a white garbage bag with glass bottles in it. Turns out, it was some ornamental rubber/plastic lamp styled to look like a small dog. At any rate, after busting this thing into about 100 pieces, he comes up to me and says, “hey, for $3, I’ll clean it up.”
Long story short, I cleaned it up. L.A. has nice weather, but the people here suck.
Mikey - July 3rd, 2008 at 5:00 pm
First off, your blog is inspiring. Not because you *blog* well, but because you are a creative thinker. I think I’ve lived enough to learn that creative thinkers can be creative in lots of areas. So what interests you most? Go do that.
Second, trust that the process you’re going through will end. 11.5 months of 2003 destroyed me, and then the last two weeks changed my life for the better. The last part couldn’t have happened if the first hadn’t. And as I look back, I think just about every major life change requires a crucible. Sounds like you’re in one now.
Finally, on blogs, I don’t blog now, but I have and don’t anymore because of many of the reasons you write about. My life needs to be mine. That isn’t the case for everyone, but once you get people you’ve never physically met giving you personal advice, it’s time to seriously assess what you’re up to. It would seem that Emily Gould is a good cautionary tale.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/25/magazine/25internet-t.html
Good luck, Malingering. All we ask is for you to let us know what you decided before you either change the store or turn the lights out.
Vouchey - July 3rd, 2008 at 10:16 pm
I’ve decided to leave you an inspirational quote of the day:
You can dress a pig in a housecoat or a ball gown, it’s still just a pig in a dress.
tequilaanddonuts - July 10th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
sending love, and will cheer your decisions, whatever they are
bbd - July 10th, 2008 at 5:03 pm