Malingering’s World

Use sunscreen.

But feel like wearing sweatpants, now there is a solution.

I have those days all the time.

Looks like he’s taken.

(Yes, you can get a martini in the dugout club. $500 a seat.)

At Hamburger Mary’s.

I know, it’s out of control.

and people asked why the asshole (me) stood there and took a photo rather than saving the child (though at this point I think a Darwin award would have been in order, both for myself and the parent), I’ll show you what happened next:

YAY! Someone came to save the baby!

He just wasn’t strong enough to lift it.

(And for those of you who are curious, we did mention this unsafe practice to the mother, who gave us a dirty look and then ignored us. No one, and I mean NO ONE, wants to be told anything that insinuates that they are a bad parent. Ever. Try it sometime. I can guarantee you the response.)

Will you people help me stop copyright infringment and inform the failblog people that my photo was stolen by Miss Claire M and someone had better credit me? I was going to say this is as bad as the Cheezburger photo thievery, until I realized it’s the same site.

http://failblog.org/2009/05/26/parenting-fail-10/

So after all these years, I was told yesterday that my Nikon D80 with my 80-200mm lens is not allowed in Dodger Stadium anymore. Security dude said it’s not permitted. I told him that was very strange, since I’d brought that camera and lens to a total of 100 games over the past 3 years and never once had I been told that it was not allowed.

He said, “that’s our policy. This is private property, we can make whatever rules we like.”

I told him I understand that, but that I would like to know when it changed, since I brought this camera into the stadium less than 24 hours ago without any problem.

He replied with, “this is private property. No lenses over four inches allowed.”

I said, “that is not in your written policy. You only mention tripods and monopods.”

He said, “yes it is.”

Oh thank you sir. That is very specific and informative. I appreciate your help and your fan-friendly atmosphere.

I checked the website when I got home.

Cameras and Camcorders…

Still and video cameras are permitted in Dodger Stadium provided that they are for personal use only. Taking photos or video taping any game action is prohibited. Fans may not block aisles or obstruct the view of others and professional photographic tools (such as tripods, telephoto lenses, etc.) are not permitted in the stadium.

Apparently you are not allowed to take photos of “game action.” Period.

Way to get all fascist on us, Dodgers.

And how do you define a telephoto lens? Some people consider anything over than 85mm to be telephoto. That’s odd, since there were people in my section with 70-300mm lenses, 18-135mm lenses, and 35-70mm lenses. Aren’t those also, by definition, telephoto?

I’d like to know how taking this photo and posting it on Flickr costs them a single cent. If anything, isn’t it good Dodger publicity? Doesn’t it get people thinking about baseball? How the hell does this hurt you, Frank McCourt? I’m sitting in the reserve level. Your photographer’s photos are 100 times nicer than mine. Do you think I could possibly profit off of this?

Angel Stadium used to be the only one with a “no professional equipment” rule, which they defined as 4 inch lenses: Still photography and hand-held video cameras for personal use are allowed in the ballpark. Per MLB restrictions game action cannot be recorded. Professional photography equipment, cameras with lenses larger than four inches and camera support pods are not permitted. Please be courteous to those around you when taking pictures. Please do not stand at the bottom of an aisle to take pictures. They’re still the only ballpark in the MLB to limit you to 4 inches.

I checked a few of the other ballparks, just for fun.

Petco Park: CAMERAS AND CAMCORDERS Guests are welcome to bring still cameras and video cameras in to PETCO Park for their personal use. Guests must avoid obstructing the views of others when using video or photography equipment.

Yankee Stadium: Cameras and video equipment Single-frame flash photography is permitted. Tripods, extended length zoom lenses, other professional camera equipment, movie cameras and any other video or audio recording equipment are not permitted in Yankee Stadium. Guests are not permitted to transmit or aid in transmitting any account, description, picture, video, audio, reproduction or other information about any games.

So if I text message someone the score, am I breaking the rules? If I call someone and say “Jeter made an awesome catch,” can I be arrested?

Coors Field: Single frame photography is permitted at all times. Lighting at Coors Field is bright enough that flash photography is not necessary or allowed within the ballpark. Camera support pods are not permitted by Guests in Coors Field. Please make sure you are courteous of those around you when taking pictures.

Well that’s nice and friendly. Thank you, Colorado.

Wrigley Field: Visitors are welcome to bring video and still cameras into the ballpark; however, tripods are not allowed in the seating areas. Recordings may be used for personal viewing only. Any other use, distribution or commercial use is prohibited.

Fenway: Cameras and video cameras are permitted inside Fenway Park, but cannot be used to reproduce the game and must not interfere with other fans’ enjoyment of the game.

I’m not really sure what it means to reproduce the game, but it would probably be hard to do that with a still camera, regardless of the lens length.

Busch Stadium: Both still and video cameras are allowed in Busch Stadium, as long as they do not obstruct another guest’s view. Credentialed professional news crews/cameras are only allowed on the concourses and are not to film any game action unless given permission by the Cardinals.

Fine. Fair enough.

So now what to do, what to do? Suggestions gladly accepted.

…I think this would have been funny if it were non-famous people too. Rick Fox and his woman Eliza Dushku were at the Dodger game last night watching my boys in blue go down to the evil OC empire. Of course they were in the $500/seat section, and around the 8th inning they’d had enough baseball and got up and left. One of the drunk Angel fans spots them going down the stairs and literally throws himself over the wall into the stairwell (a good 8 foot drop) and lands on top of this lady. Rick Fox is feeling sort of bad (after all, he knows his recent coked out appearances on Lakers Live has made him the sort of superstar that has fans literally throwing themselves at his feet) so he goes to console this woman who appears to have suffered some sort of head injury. Meanwhile the drunk Angels Fan douche recovers and starts clawing at Rick Fox to get an autograph or a photo or something before people pulled him off of Rick. Classic. This is why I live in LA.