Dedicated to a Kindred Spirit:
I have popped a number of beach balls in my time. My first was in 2003. My record is 4 in one game on August 16, 2004. And no, despite the pleadings of those around me, I will not stop.
1) The beach balls are a distraction from the game. If you don’t want to watch the game, don’t come. Go to the park. Or the beach. I can tell you need some exercise.
2) Beach balls are not allowed at Dodger Stadium for a reason. Playing keep-away from the ushers is juvenile. If you can get Dodger Stadium to allow them and condone their existence in the ballpark, I promise I will stop popping them. I follow the rules at Dodger Stadium because I respect it. Hitting around a beach ball is a sign of disrespect to me, the players, and the game.
3) No, I don’t like the wave. This is because in the past two seasons, in a total of 73 games, I have not ONCE seen the Dodgers score during the wave. So I consider it unlucky and I won’t participate in it. However never in my life have I prevented anyone from doing the wave so your mature and creative visual of me stabbing people for standing up are funny but untrue.
4) I don’t give a fuck if your kid likes hitting them. That’s probably because you aren’t doing a good enough job getting them interested in the game. And clearly you aren’t teaching your kid to respect the game, respect the stadium rules, or respect Vin Scully. Bring the kid a transformer if he’s so fucking bored.
5) Balls end up on the field. It’s dangerous, it’s distracting, it’s annoying. It causes a delay of game. It breaks up the flow. Outfielders could trip on them. It’s embarrassing.
6) Vin Scully hates them too. Need I say more?
September 22nd, 2009 - 9:14 am
I am not kidding but here at Comerica Park (Tigers) they actually have inflatable penis’ (hmm is the plural for penis actually peni?) anyway they mysteriously appear and get bounced around before a usher grabs onto it and removes it. Talk about a uncomfortable situation when my daughter looks at me and says “I hope it comes this way I want to hit it”…DOH!
September 22nd, 2009 - 10:44 am
i love it! be still my heart!
September 23rd, 2009 - 5:45 pm
The plural is penises. No need for a greengrocer’s apostrophe.
On beach balls, good for you! Bringing a beach ball to a game sucks. If you want to re-enact Muscle Beach Party, do it in the parking lot for crissakes.
December 18th, 2009 - 9:22 pm
Hear hear. In addition to beach balls and waves, which I do hate, I have to add that I also hate those girls that only come to baseball games because it’s a social event. It’s just a place to hang out with their boyfriends and their girlfriends and drink beer. Since they have no interest in the game they are in and out of their seats all night long.
Ugh. Sit down and watch the game.