Malingering’s World

I would love to see those things take off and fly away.

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What sort of example are we setting for the children?

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I’m home sick and can’t do anything. So here’s a Zumi video.

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Okay, I don’t know what the hell happened, but Milo is missing his whiskers on one side. They’re all perfectly chopped off to the same length, no signs of being ripped or singed or anything. The ends are blunt and I am very, very confused.

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I don’t know what animal this is. It’s something like a skunky-squirrel-weasel thing on steroids. Either way, it’s been laying dead on Dodger Stadium property for at least five days. I first spotted it on Tuesday, it seemed sort of freshly dead at that point. Thursday it was starting to collect some flies, and Saturday […]

I was sitting in the grass enjoying a fine afternoon and all of the sudden these dirty nasty exhibitionists come up in front of me and splay out their pigeon privates as if this is Noah’s Ark or something. Freedom isn’t free, I can tell you that much.

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Who knew my cat Milo would start such a name trend? I mean, know he’s a really cute cat, but this has gone too far! Bape has a line of Baby Milo clothing, which I suppose I would want, if it weren’t $150 per sweatshirt and it somehow resembled the OG […]

For a while, people only hated me on Flickr. But now the hate has migrated here which I think is a true symbol of my pending fame.
Also, I hereby declare my new name to be blah sexless cat lady and those refusing to recognise my new title will be banned from the internet for life. […]

“Yeah, I just had my lips done and Sparky here had his ears done, I think tomorrow we’re going to get matching pedis.”

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I have never understood the appeal of having food with eyeballs and top hats try to sell itself to the public. Mr. Peanut, the KooKooRoo chicken (winking no less!), all disturb me enough to make it easy to avoid eating them. I can’t decide if the Pillsbury doughboy is better or worse, on one hand […]