Malingering’s World

It’s become an epidemic around here. I am thinking of developing a vaccine before it eats them alive.

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Dear Wanna-Be Britney Spears:
This is the reason people make fun of LA, the reason women get no respect around here, and the reason tabloids make so much money. I hope you are happy to be contributing to this cause. Congratulations.
Malingering
P.S. The black bra isn’t working

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“honey, do you have a napkin? i spilled my mocha ice blended on the dog again.”

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I have nothing against animal prints, nor do I have anything against coordinating one’s outfit. So don’t jump all over me. I just think the shoes/purse/jacket combo is actually making her look like a leopard.

I realized things had gone one step too far when I saw this:

For a cat, maybe, but a dog? Isn’t that […]

So why do bovines need bluetooth headsets? Who are they calling? Setting up dates for the barnyard dance? Trying to get tickets for Barnyard? (Opened last week!). Speaking to the agent about getting a gig as a college mascot? Checking on the location of the nearest Wilson’s Leather poacher? Putting in an order for another […]

You know, when I think of a beaver, I hope for less hair and a darker pink.

But that’s just me.
P.S. crocs = the end of the world

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WTF?
Okay, they’re not real dead dogs. But who the hell is going to carry a chihuahua on a chain when they’re out shopping or having a nice dinner in a restaurant? Probably the person who is already carrying a (real) chihuahua on a chain, which would make it redundant. I cannot wait till I see […]

You thought it was amusing when people started carrying their dogs in their purses to be like Paris Hilton, well now they are pushing their dogs in strollers rather than let them walk on the ground. This may be the preferable option for the dog too large to fit into the handbag, or it may […]

No joke, that’s his high protein smoothie that he’s feeding to his 8 ounce dog. Pretty soon that dog’s lats are going to rip right out of that von Dutch shirt and he will have to be renamed “Hulk.”
You’ll have to trust me on the von Dutch thing. This is the best I could do.

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