Malingering’s World

Somehow I feel he was just doomed by genetics, with a higher-than-normal buttcrack. So really, he can’t help it you see.

I am guessing if I stuck something in there I would get in trouble. Which totally isn’t fair because how can I help it?

Before Arizona turned into a racist police state, we went there for spring training. And looky what we found. BOO-TAY! But now we’re boycotting the whole state, so no more spring training or DBacks games for a while. Which is too bad, since there is some good stuff in Arizona.

Like these:

I don’t get it. I wrote an anti-white pants proclamation several months ago and no one is heeding my important advice.

Yeah that’s totally not see-through. Good work.

Underwear AND the tag. I’m so glad there is NOTHING left to the imagination.

And, yeah. You can see the boyshorts too.

And the granny panties…

And the thong…

And the legs beneath.

I really hope she thinks this looks good. Because if it is a casualty of not being able to look over one’s shoulder at the mirror then I feel really bad for her complete oblivion.

And really, it doesn’t matter how thin or in shape you are. It’s still tacky. There are NO EXCEPTIONS to this rule, people!

I know they have smoothing underwear now. Spanx or whatever. I bet she wears a lacy bra under a white tank top too.

You know how I feel about this sort of outfit. I won’t even say it.

Well I know who’s getting anti-cellulite cream for their birthday.

What I wouldn’t give to see that from the front.

That’s more asscheek than I want to know. AND she sat in dirt. Of course she did. That’s why we have asses. To sit on them. They’re supposed to get dirty. Therefore, they should not be white.

Okay, she’s okay to wear white pants because no one can look at her ass, being how distracted they are by Darth Maul.

Either way, I hope you people have learned your lesson. WHITE PANTS ARE NOT OKAY. JUST GIVE UP. I BEG YOU.

Never limit yourself!

For the love of God people. White pants are not flattering, and white leggings are really not flattering. This should be common knowledge now. Pretty soon I will have to make this a category, and I really don’t want to validate this behavior with a category. So can we all do our part to spread the word that white leggings will never be thick enough or opaque enough to hide your stray ass hair? Thanks.

If you really think about it, leather probably holds less sand than other fabrics. It may as well be the garment of choice by beach communities around the world. I wonder why it hasn’t caught on.

They had on matching tracksuits so they wouldn’t lose each other at Disneyland. Why they chose one with asswriting is a whole other issue.