Archive for the ‘asswatch’ category

IMG_1847

too fill up these pants?

This trend just sucks. Perhaps I complained too much about asscracks and thongs and such but really, this backlash is entirely unnecessary. We don’t need to obliterate asses from existence. What ever happened to moderation?

I don’t see the appeal of constant inner thigh-inner thigh contact when one is wearing pants. You’re just looking for a rash.

a second too late

March 16th, 2010

IMG_3469

One second prior to taking this, she was bending over to put something in her bag. I can assure you with 100% certainty that she does not wear panties.

reverse cameltoe

March 1st, 2010

P3070033-1

Her butt has a vagina!

IMG_2174

Admittedly, all I wore was leggings back in 1992. They were super comfortable and I could go straight to gymnastics practice afterward without a wardrobe change. It was kind of cool to be hanging out in a baggy sweatshirt and the equivalent of pajama pants all day. But that was 1992.

Leggings coming “back into style” has created all sorts of issues. First off, this is not style. Secondly, the “style” is to wear them with a longer and loose fitting garment. And these loose garments are supposed to COVER YOUR ASS. When your ass is not covered, you end up with this:

IMG_2187

Okay so I can see her underpants and I know if and when she may be crowning and it’s time to take the brown babies to the pool. But there is an even worse offense when you buy the wrong size/type of underwear, as seen here:

IMG_2236

Thos granny panties look uncomfortable from here. And since I am 20 feet away, I can’t imagine what they might look like up close. Or even worse, feel like. We have made several advances in underwear technology ince 1992, yet some people still are not taking advantage.

Then there is the issue of women confusing “tights” with “leggings.” Now there are several similarities. They are well-fitted items which are meant to be worn with looser garments on top again, to reiterate, WHICH COVER YOUR ASS. However tights are more sheer. They are not meant to be worn as the sole garment below the waist. Now if you can’t read the packaging and you mistake “leggings” for “tights, you end up with this sort of mess:

IMG_2226

It’s not 1992 anymore, so people have decided they need a new take on leggings. Like lots and lots of stupid slits that looks like that time when you were 5 years old that you discovered the genius combination of safety scissors and a sheet of paper folded in half. “If I cut along the crease it makes magic!” Now maybe a 5 year old had designed these I would cut her more slack. But I have a feeling this lady paid $20 for 45 windows to her cellulite and that’s just not cool.

IMG_2000

Is this better than asswriting and asscracks? Is it better than visible thongs? I suppose only time will tell. Sigh.

DSC_6204-1

It should always be labeled as such.

asses for the new year

December 29th, 2009

ass love

My wish is that in 2010, PINK will actually mean “pink” again.

not at all pink

And grown women (and their children) will stop using their rear ends as advertising space.

LMU asses

pink ass and poop

on the same monochromatic spectrum, but not quite

why do panty lines annoy me?

December 17th, 2009

I’m not really sure. It may be because my mother would not let me leave the house like this so I was forced into years of uncomfortable thong-wearing to try to avoid this look.

Or maybe I just feel like I’ve seen something I didn’t want to see, and it was kind of against my will because I don’t think I would willingly ask to see some lady’s ass cellulite and its surrounding undergarments.

Or maybe it’s just univerally tacky and I’m not the only one who photographs such fashion mishaps. Come on Glamour magazine, you’re with me here, right?

panty lines

cheeky monkey

December 14th, 2009

asscheeks

DSC_6980-1

People keep repeating it. It’s not funny.

leopardsy

pants: who needs them?

November 1st, 2009

pants: who needs them