Malingering’s World

the world as it exists
 
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Archive for the 'kids' Category

sometimes I can’t resist peer pressure

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

So when the 7 year old ring bearer at a wedding challenges me to a dance off and starts to throw down, I pull off stupid shit like this. Apparently I didn’t learn how to resist peer pressure as a child. Nor did I set a very good example for the 7 year old. But […]

there’s something about moms and tramp stamps

Monday, April 28th, 2008

That I find sort of funny. I’m not exactly sure what it is.

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kids look better than me

Tuesday, April 15th, 2008

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doggy bags

Friday, February 15th, 2008

What sort of example are we setting for the children?

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stowaways

Wednesday, January 16th, 2008

are everywhere.

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just little adults

Saturday, December 29th, 2007

There’s a saying in pediatrics, “kids are not just little adults.” Well I beg to differ. If we dress them like mini-grown-ups, and don’t let them act like children, well maybe they can just skip the whole childhood bullshit and get them straight into the good life.

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how parenting has changed

Thursday, December 6th, 2007

This girl (in camo with her underwear hanging out) was at most 14 years old. Her mom (in sheer backed top behind her) was following her around, with her muffin top and panties hanging out. And this was no accident, I run into the family again about 3 hours later, same thing. It wasn’t even […]

dirty kid feet are nasty

Thursday, November 29th, 2007

I suppose there are worse places for you to let your kid walk barefoot, since Disneyland does a good job of sweeping the ground the second a churro hits the pavement, and at least we know there is a low chance of stepping in dog shit. But still, knowing her feet have probably stepped in […]

mommy and daddy and me

Tuesday, November 6th, 2007

Since I wouldn’t dress like this (ever), I can’t understand how someone can get all hootched-out and tramp around with a kid in tow. It’s one thing if you’re at a club and looking to share the scabies wealth with whatever man-whore happens in your direction, but walking around the happiest place on earth with […]

dairy queens

Monday, October 29th, 2007

Sometimes, mommy’s gotta find a new daddy.

I am endlessly perplexed by mothers who continue to dress like desperate horny bar sluts even after they have families. It’s really great that they think they are in such good shape after giving birth and I’m sure it’s really exciting to have your titties swell up with baby […]