The front of her shirt said “I’m single.” Um, no I’m not going to call you, because you’re JAILBAIT. And I’m not a SEX OFFENDER. So go get a NEW SHIRT. Perhaps one that is more APPROPRIATE. Damn teenagers.
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Yes friends, this is henna. Yes, this is embroidered asswriting. And yes, this is a girl who was hardly 12 and still has braces and was shopping with her parents and yes, that is the playboy bunny.
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There is something incredibly disturbing about seeing drunk 16 year olds in public on a Wednesday night, tripping over each other and giggling in drunken stupor only to return to their new cars that mommy and daddy bought them for their sweet sixteen so that they can drive home with reckless abandon to try to […]
I was shocked and amazed that the amount of makeup (in contrast with the lack of clothing) on these girls. They were about 14 (15 at the most) and were dressed liked little hootchies. Every time they walked by, my mouth would drop open, and people would mutter “my parents never would have let me […]
Odds are 4:1 that they’re taking photos for their myspace accounts.
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Next time you and the boyfriend do the Edward Scissorhands role-playing night of kinky fun, bring an extra pair of pants. That way when you wake up after a long night, you will have something else to wear other than the mutilated pair of jeans you destroyed the night before. I’m just sayin’.
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Teenage love is so precious. Hopefully they are old enough to remember Jerry Maguire and “you complete me.” Because together, they have one complete set of pants.
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If I were arrogant enough, I may start to think that people put on these things just hoping they will run into my camera and end up on the internet and then find some way to sue me for defamation or something. But since I’m not that popular or self-centered, I have to think that […]
I have been racking my brain to come up with a reason why someone might need to wear Uggs with pajama pants tucked into them. Maybe it was artifical snowing out and they needed to run to the driveway to get the newspaper? Maybe the heater broke in their Beverly Hills home and their little […]