Malingering’s World

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Do you think people in the armed forces who wear real camo find this cotton candy shit offensive? Because it offends me and I have no camo connection at all. Where exactly is she going to fight? At Victoria’s Secret?

I am so sorry you can’t see the bedazzled glitter-tastic asswriting. I didn’t have a lot […]

So does pink. But that doesn’t mean you need to wear all of them at once. Or wear a pillowcase on your head. WTF.

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Here is proof that I have gone into Victoria’s Secret for the non-believer out there.

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This may explain why I don’t like belly rings, and wish they could be turned into something else. I think we need to eliminate belly button rings, invent stretch mark jewelry, and then incorporate stretch marks into henna tattoos for a grand mural. Think of the money!
P.S. Cigarettes are sexy!

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Okay, I get it now. The whole world exists as to conspire against me. This is all an evil plan and I am the center of the whole thing. Everything is around me is here just to piss me off. Seriously. I have proof. First I complain about Uggs and American Girl dolls and what […]

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Sorry. I started writing for LAist and also trying to get back in shape by going to Crossfit LA and it’s baseball season, so I’m rather behind with the posting.
What I’ve been doing this week: Implants on LAist
And to show everyone that I still love them, here’s this:

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