Malingering’s World

In case you couldn’t tell for yourself.

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Sorry I was just looking back at this and the photos are pretty damn funny. Gotta love LA.
Malingering’s Muscle Beach Awards

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I always followed directions as a kid and tried to follow the bouncing ball and sing along and look into the magic mirror and all of those things. So can I help it if I am conditioned to stare at these things? It’s not my fault.

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For today’s side boob hour.

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Maybe it’s time to reign in those puppies before they suffocate someone or swing laterally and take out a small child.

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We haven’t had one in a while and I just haven’t been feeling like myself. Now I realize that the blog is lacking cleavage.

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This may explain why I don’t like belly rings, and wish they could be turned into something else. I think we need to eliminate belly button rings, invent stretch mark jewelry, and then incorporate stretch marks into henna tattoos for a grand mural. Think of the money!
P.S. Cigarettes are sexy!

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If you happen to purchase a top that’s a little too big or simply doesn’t have any pockets, don’t worry! You can store your cell phone, ATM card, ipod nano, whatever you like in the extra cleavage area. For items that are cold sensitive, slip them underneath the boob flap for extra warmth.

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Public health notice:
There appears to be a virulent pathogen circling the greater Los Angeles area that results in strange oozing and growths at the site of the navel. Initially it appears benign and may take the mimic the shape of a flower or diamond, but this is simply one of its many clever adaptations to […]